Backwards

Our local hospital sits up on a hill. It’s a lovely location with views of the Sea of Japan on one side and the mountains on the other. There is only one big drawback, which I was reminded of this morning as I attempted to drop Joshy off at day service… all the access roads are steep! This morning, even knowing it was icy, I decided to go to the entrance near the day service wing instead of the bigger entrance at the other end of the building. As I headed up the hill & rounded the curve I noted another car in the drop off area, I slowed down… I then started sliding back down the hill. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t get enough traction to continue up to the parking area.  In the end, I backed back down around the curve and back to the road.

How many times in life, as we strive to go forward, do we slow down and then start sliding back. How many time do we find ourselves unable to move forward no matter what we try. Sometimes, like this morning, we need to stop and maybe even retreat. We need to regroup before we continue forward. Maybe we need to take an alternate route. Maybe be just need to get on solid ground and try again. This morning it meant getting to the bottom of the hill, letting the car that had been in the drop off area pass and then taking the hill carefully, but without slowing down. 

Never Easy

 This has been a really rough week. A week filled with wanting to give up. A week filled with questioning why we ever did the things we did, even the things we know we were directly called by God to do. 

It has been an exhausting week. A week filled with lack of sleep because my brain won't relax and let go. A week when I finally do get to sleep the alarm or the son goes off saying it is time to start all over again.

It has been an emotional roller coaster ride this week. So many twists and turns that my mind is spinning: sadness, frustration, loss, anger, fear... just to name a few.

Remember childhood when we thought that life would be easier when... we could drive or after we went to collage where we'd be free from our parents rules.

Remember early adulthood when we thought that life would be easier once we had graduated university or once we were married. 

Remember later adulthood when we thought that life would be easier once the kids were older. 

I've come to the conclusion that "it will be easier when" is a LIE! Life is full of challenges. And those challenges are not easy. There is always going to be something difficult to get through, but GOD is there to walk the road with you. To hold your hand and say we can handle this together. 

Psalm 84:5-7

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
 They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion.

John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Time To Stand or Kneel

 As I see the news of worldwide protests to all the mandates, I can't help but cheer. Better late than never, people are starting to stand up to the tyranny. 

Mask Mandate - I will agree that masks work somewhat IF you are ill: coughing & sneezing. If you are not ill then they really serve no other purpose than to shout, "Look at what a pious person I am!" thus causing division and encouraging snobbery. 

V Mandate - Whether people want to face it or not, the v-a-x is NOT what it was originally touted to be. Remember way back at the beginning, it was "the v will keep you from getting or spreading the virus". Then it went to, "you might still get it but your symptoms will be mild and you won't spread it". Now, well "you can still get and spread it"... aka - it really does not work. If the fear mongering media would be truthful, people would also know that the v also has very serious side effects which have cost 10's of thousands of people their lives and 100's of thousands their health.

V Passport Mandate - I'm sorry, but not every Tom, Dick, and Harry needs to know my personal medical history! I don't want to know if you had 1 or 2 or have been boosted or not. It in none of my business, nor is it the shop clerk's, or security guard's, the baggage handler's business... NO ONE has the right to personal medical information except the person and their doctor. The passport is just another sign to shout, "Look at what a wonderful person I am!" Again, this is just an outward, visible, encouragement for division and snobbery.

All of this reminds me of the Max Lucado book You Are Special where everyone was going round giving out stars for good deeds (mask & jabs) and dots for bad deeds (resisting). The stars and dots don't stay on when you visit the maker everyday.

We ALL need to stop living in fear. We need to stop putting actions up on a pedestal while looking down at those who don't do the same thing. And most of all we need to go to The Maker each and everyday to learn how to live as He wants us to. 

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Ephesians 4:2

A Thousand Cuts

A thousand cuts.

When it rains it pours.

For a day off, Tuesdays can be really busy. The tightest part of Tuesdays is between 4:00 & 5:00.  Joshy’s therapy ends at 4:00. Jerry needs to head to work about 5:00. In between, I need to get home, unloaded, and get supper ready so that Jerry can eat something before he leaves. Yesterday, had several “cuts” or maybe a downpour between 4:15 & 5:00

• The secretary called with a tax question from the accountant. I hunted up the needed paper and sent her a picture of it so that she could let the accountant know. 
• I knew the accountant needed W2’s and the last one had arrived earlier in the mail. BUT Japan only gives 1 copy, which is submitted when taxes are filed. We however need a copy for our US taxes. I decided to make the copies - easy peasy, right. He printer ran out of ink on the LAST copy 😳 
• Found ink! Changed in! Did the stupid alinement thingy. Tried to make the last copy… blank paper! I had forgotten to take the tape off the new ink cartridge 🙄 
• Repeat steps and finally get all copies made and sorted into the correct files: Jerry’s / mine / ours for the U.S. This made it possible for Jerry to take his paperwork to give to the secretary who then dropped it off at the accountants office. 

By this time it is 5:00. Supper wasn’t even started! Thank goodness for obento! Jerry & I went by the store and got obento for everyone and Jerry was able to scarf his down on the way to work. It worked. We made it, but it was stressful and frustrating. 

So often frustrations come in the form of little things… a thousand cuts. Right now with the world being extra chaotic, some days feel like we are starting off with 999 cuts already. We need to stop and remember that each day is new. Remember that God has everything under control. Take a deep breath and ask the LORD to heal the cuts!

Looking Forward

So much has happened in the world these past couple of years, it almost feels like life has been on hold. Big life events have happened: our youngest graduated from high school, loved ones have passed, new life has been announced. Yet it still feels like we are on hold in so many ways.

Governments and the main stream media want us living in fear. But God says, Do not be afraid! Yet if I choose to not live in fear, I'm branded as inconsiderate, uninformed, selfish, stupid...

We must remember that God IS still in control. He wants us to look forward, not dwell on the past. He also wants us to stop living in fear, so much so that you could read a "Do not be afraid" verse EVERY day ALL year.

 

It's time for all of us to stop being afraid. To stop living in the past. To start looking forward. We don't know what the future brings, but God is there and He has it under control. So the next time something like virus numbers get you down, just stop and remember who is in control. It's not the governments, or the doctors, or the media who know what is best, it is GOD.

UPWARD & ONWARD!

Isaiah 43:18-19

“Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

 Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time I was a blogger. It started some 15 years ago as a way to stay connected with my family in Japan as I was in CA waiting on the birth of my first grandchild. 

Wait... Slow down... How can I possibly have a 15 year old grandson?!? TWITCH!!

Anyway, back to reality. I do have a 15 yo grandson, as well as, a soon to be 14yo granddaughter, an 11 yo granddaughter, a 3 yo granddaughter, an a coming soon granddaughter. My older 2 children live in the U.S. My younger 2 still live at home, but they are no longer in school, rather they have entered into their adult lives. I'm older, and hopefully a little wiser. I am definitely grayer! 

In retrospect, I was a blogger back when Xanga was a thriving blogging community. Back before I knew what Facebook was. YEAH - way back when. Then after Xanga changed everything, I tried blogging here, but to be honest I was in mourning for the Xanga community. I just couldn't get into this new platform. I had also gotten into Facebook, so my blog went the way of the bison. 

Recently, I've been thinking about the good old days when I used to blog and decided to see if my old blog still existed. I have been craving an outlet for thoughts and emotions. A place where, LORD willing, I won't get "fact checked" for posting something that doesn't fit the liberal narrative. So here goes. Anyone out there care to come along for the ride?

Wild Weeks

If weeks only had warning labels...

We would avoid those weeks!

This has been one of those weeks I would have preferred to have skipped. Last week was a wild ride as well, but this week added a sick boy, a fall, and a very close call with a blue car.

On the other hand, I keep seeing things like this...

We don't know what a day, a week, a month, a year is going to bring. We may not feel as if we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We may not believe that the cloud could even remotely have a silver lining. But if we look, there are little reminders along that way that God IS with us and once we have pressed on though the test there is a crown waiting for us.

Case in point, this tidbit that popped up on facebook when I was ready to tear my hair out...

Remain FAITHFUL folks and remember we DO know where we will end up once the trials have passed. We have a home in heaven waiting for us! 

Respite

From time to time I hear the question, "How do you do it?" or the statement, "I don't know how you do it." The answer - The grace of God! That and the fact that it all just seems "normal"... well until that moment when you have dropped your special needs child off at respite care and suddenly ALL energy drains from your body and you aren't sure how you are going to keep walking down the hall let alone drive home! OH wait, now that said child is in respite, there are errands to run... do we really need to eat this week? Couldn't I skip the grocery shopping? Nope - the store has chocolate and ice cream 😂

Usually, we try to get Joshy into respite at least twice a month. Often times, especially during the school year, it ends up being just 1 night / 2 days. I am finding that 1 night / 2 days, just doesn't cut it. Yesterday when I dropped him off, I was hit hard by the energy drain - pretty sure it has something to do with him only sleeping all night about once a week... for the past 3-4 months! Thing is I honestly didn't realize I was so exhausted. After a night a actual sleep, I am still tired, with very little energy. I am also beyond thankful that I don't need to pick him up for another 31 hours & 15 minutes, but who's counting 😉

Then I stop and remember, there are caregivers out there that don't have respite care. Those who are doing the job without family support. Those who do not have day service or other options to give them any break at all. If I am this exhausted when I have support, how exhausted must those without support be? 

This brings me up short, because we are told to...

"Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

LORD help me to keep my eyes open for ways that I can help others carry their burdens!

Evolution of Clean

Our evolution of clean all started about 6 years ago when Kei's emotional health was rock bottom. In the process to find balance we attempted to rid the house of as many chemicals as possible... natural shampoo (for Kei), natural laundry detergent, natural "girl" products, etc... We also started her on various supplements to avoid harsher drugs, the brief window when she was on drugs was not pretty, nor did they seem to help. Over time, a precarious balance has been achieved. As long as life doesn't throw too many changes her way all is well. If maintaining balance means no chemicals, then that is a small price to pay...except chemical free products are often a little pricey. 

The biggest evolution of clean has been in the laundry department. Somewhere along the line, I started using soap nuts, which worked well, but were a bit of a pain - especially for young laundry students (The girls started being responsible for their own laundry when they hit high school). I then switched to a soap nut derived liquid detergent - which is easy peasy to use but pricey. Off and on I've toyed with the idea of making my own laundry detergent, but have always bulked at getting all the ingredients - a daunting and somewhat costly pursuit when attempting to find Japanese equivalents or imported products. 

This leads me to today... 

I just finished baking Baking Soda in an attempt to make Washing Soda, a main ingredient in homemade laundry detergent. 

My next step was making liquid laundry detergent using this recipe.

I am honestly surprised at how simple the process was, even with the added step of making my own washing soda. I think the most complicated thing might be figuring out earthquake tie downs for the 2 gallon sized glass jugs. 

So was it a success? It IS considerably cheaper!! How it actually works - we'll have to see how everything comes out in the wash 😄

BTW - I will also be making Laundry Scent Booster as soon as Amazon delivers my order of Epsom salt. 

Stillness

This past week several things have come up to remind me to be still. 

ONE

Last week was a crazy week with 3/4 of my once a month classes converging into 1 week. Add doctor appointments for Joshy, Kei, & I with an additional twist - the abscess in Joshy's arm we though was gone came back, so an additional doctor appointment was needed. There was also an influenza scare - one of my students was in class Wednesday and came down with influenza on Thursday then a Friday student, who was still under the "influenza quarantine", decided to go ahead and come to class on Friday anyway. All on top of the fact that Joshua seems to have a new year's resolution to start the day in the wee hours. Needless to say, I was more than ready for short stay - 2 nights & 3 days - to chill out... and like... sleep! 

However, I have a new year's resolutions, too: to exercise & eat right. Exhaustion really messes with willpower! For the 1st time this year I did not make my step goal on either Friday or Saturday 😓  I was feeling guilty, then I saw the following meme:

Resting, being still, is needed.

TWO

A meme I posted 7 years ago, when Joshy was in the cancer center, popped up on Facebook memories. He had already been hospitalized for 4 months and the end was not in sight. He blood counts were not rebounding as quickly as anticipated. It was rough all the way around; Jerry & the girls were at home fighting record snow, classes - Jerry was teaching his classes & mine, homeschooling without a teacher, in general - life without us being together, while Joshy and I were stuck in the hospital with nothing but lab work and transfusions to fill the hours.  The reminder of "Be still. God is in control." was a much needed, gentle reminder to trust the LORD.

THREE

Sunday's memory verse was:

"Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord." Romans 12:19

The message was from 1 Samuel 24:1-7. David had every opportunity to take revenge against King Saul, but he didn't. In another reference, 1 Samuel 26:10, David left revenge in the LORD's hands.

"As surely as the Lord lives,” he said, “the Lord himself will strike him, or his time will come and he will die, or he will go into battle and perish.""

Another verse from the message was:

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

My over all take on the message was; relax, be still, and trust God to handle the situation. Taking matters into our own hands isn't God's will. 

Pulling the randomness of this post together:

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

God has every situation under control.

No Matter How Small

Social media always has its share of politically correct posts & memes. Recently, with all the news of new abortion laws being passed, it seems like you can't even think Facebook without an abortion meme popping up. The pendulum swings between everything is acceptable to nothing is acceptable. Sharing a meme is an easy way to state your opinion. If you look at my Facebook page you can see where I basically stand, but a meme does not give any real details or reasons behind ones belief, so I thought I'd try to put a few thoughts down on "paper".

Two of the many scriptures that stand out to me the most are found in Psalms and Isaiah.

          "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
           mother’s womb." Psalm 139:13

          "Before I was born the Lord called me; from my mother’s womb
           he has spoken my name." Isaiah 49:1

These verses tell me that God knows each and every child that is conceived. He knows who they are, who they will become. He knows how the pregnancy is going to go, if there will be problems or not. He knows if they will have blond hair and blue eyes, if they will be a boy or a girl. He knows if they will have downs syndrome or cerebral palsy. He knows this. He also does not make mistakes. When we try to take control of a situation, when we abort a baby because of a possible defect or not so perfect timing, then we are saying that God made a mistake.


           "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 
            your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

The scripture doesn't say. I am fearfully and wonderfully made only IF I am perfect. It says I am fearfully and wonderfully made... period. Even a child with sever disabilities is still fearfully and wonderfully made and fits into God's perfect plan. Is it easy to have a child with a disability? NO! Can God still use that child? YES! 

Abortion is a sin, just like a whole list of sins listed through out the Bible. However, in some ways I see abortion is a double sin, because not only is it a sin against the mother's own body, it is also a sin against another human being, an innocent, helpless person. Abortion stops a life. It is murder and murder is  one of the "big 10" sins listed in the 10 Commandments. I know that sin is sin, but when a sin is listed in the "top 10" I can't help but feel that it is a little more serious. Another thought, when one sins against their own body, it is sin, it is wrong. However, when someone sins against another person the sin has a larger ripple effect - more people a effected by it - it feels bigger.

As a Christian, I am called to love. However, it must be remembered that love does not mean that I love or accept the sin. I am to love the person, but hate the sin. In today's society, people seem to be confused between the person and the action. There seems to be an idea that if you hate an action then you hate the person - which is just another of Satan's lies meant to pull people away from God. Real love sometimes means telling someone that what they are doing is wrong. This telling needs to be done in a loving way, but it also needs to be  done in a way that shows the seriousness of the situation.

Heart Focus

There are days when everything just seems to work together. Sunday was one of those days.

Sunday’s quiet time verse (Colossians 3:16)

Sunday’s responsive reading (Psalms 119)

Sunday’s message (1 Samuel 16:1-13)

“Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart—”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭119:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭16:7‬b NIV‬‬

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:13 NIV

💓 Make sure your heart is right 💓

New

New Year 

New Day 

New Life

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

                                    Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV)

One of my New Year Resolutions is to get back into blogging. Blogging was a relaxing release for me, but the blogging community I liked changed and I don't really like change. I found a new forum, but kept remembering the past blog community which made adjusting to the new community burdensome. I finally gave up. This year, however, I want to give blogging another shot... a new shot.

Today's thought...

"As for those who were held in high esteem—whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not show favoritism—they added nothing to my message." Galatians 2:6

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God,who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Then and now are not the same. The life I lived before Christ is not the same life I live in Christ. IF my life before Christ is the same as my life after Christ then there is something wrong because before Christ was not living in me, but after He is living in me. 

Trying to keep living in the past is not the answer whether it is a simple blog forum or an important life event... then is not now. The same is even more true in our spiritual walk. When we accept Christ. When Christ comes to live in us. We are called to put our past sin behind us, not to keep dredging it back up. Not to keep going back to it because it is familiar and, shutter, we might even like it. It needs to be left BEHIND. This is a decision Christians are called to make each and every day. Leave the past behind and live in the now - live IN Christ. But you know what - each and every morning Christ give us a new dose of compassion, love, and grace. We just need to focus forward rather than trying to look back.

Happy New Day!

Crafty

On a recent episode of Speechless the family spent the day doing things that were not limited to accessibility while the oldest son, JJ, who is wheelchair bound, was out doing things with his aid.   One of the mom's lines went something like, "I do things for myself...I lit a candle a few months ago!"  That episode really hit home in a lot of ways.

This weekend, Joshy has been in short stay.  Yesterday Jerry & I made a Costco run.  Kei, being very teenager-ish, opted to stay home alone and pursue her own interests.  Today, after church, I went shopping.  Nothing big, but I did spend quite a bit of time at the 100 yen shop looking over craft supplies.  I then went home and PLAYED!  I took an idea I found on Pinterest awhile back and ran with it.

There was paint involved...

And glitter glue...

We all need to play sometimes!!

All Hallows Eve

I am not a fan of Halloween...never have been, however, as Colossians 4:5 says, "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity."  Halloween is an opportunity to reach out with the Gospel.

Saturday was the ECS Halloween Party.  We ended up with 40 people in attendance.  There were games...

 

 

A costume contest...

 

 

A pinata...

  

Snacks... Popcorn, rice crackers, pretzels, & cupcakes.

And pumpkin carving, with the reminder that pumpkin carving is a lot like becoming a Christian.  God takes us, cleans out all the sin in our lives, and puts His light inside us.

Sunday afternoon, I had another event at the library.  This was the easy event, other than all the planning meetings, that is, because the library staff did all the prep work.  This ended up being a bigger event than originally thought, with 27 children signed up PLUS parents and a few younger siblings who were too young to officially attend.  I didn't get an exact count but I'd say 50+.  We sang a song Knock, Knock, Trick or Treat, read two picture books, make masks, played a game, and went "trick or treating" around the room to practice new vocabulary.

 

 

Happy Halloween!

Speedy

Life is full of growing and changing... I know this.  However sometimes those growth spurts smack me in the face.  Today, on Facebook memories, I saw this video from 6 years ago.

I cannot figure out how to get the actual video clip, but here is the link.  Go ahead, check it out.  I'll wait...

Now here is a video clip from this week.

See the difference?!?

Joshy is also really enjoying his stander.

Along with these changes are also changes in appetite.  Recently he has been eating like a teenage boy, well, in a Joshy sort of way.  He still would be hard pressed to eat as much as a typical toddler, but he is now eating more than a typical infant!

Life changes.  Changes can be good.  Changes can be exciting!

Flower Therapy

There is a national park, Echigo Hillside Park, not far from us.  We go there fairly often.  Although not as often as I would like, we try to at least get there for the bigger events: Tulip Festival, Summer Night Presents, Rose Festivals.

Last year...

Yesterday...

Friends and flowers make even cloudy days brighter.  They also go a long way in grief relief.

 

 

 

And don't forget ice cream!  Each year, each event has a special unique ice cream flavor.  This time it was Red Rose.

 

 Good times!!